


four a.m.

by asgardiun



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, overly pretentious descriptions of the rain, rooftop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25316320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asgardiun/pseuds/asgardiun
Summary: "The night darkens the sky, grey clouds tracing overhead. It’s almost peaceful, a welcomed end to a hectic day. But then he remembers Buck, nowhere to be seen. Buck, who, of course, could never simply witness a peaceful moment like this. Buck, who, naturally, would want to be up close, feeling the cold rain in his hands, on his skin, anywhere he could find it.It seems obvious now; Eddie would never find Buck inside the station when there’s so much more to be said outside. A quiet, pouring night to end the bustling, restless day. Buck would follow the pour, follow the only sound to be heard. His eyes would brighten at the sight of it, despite the restlessness of the day."___Buck follows the rain, so Eddie follows Buck, wherever he may lead.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 44
Kudos: 253





	four a.m.

The firehouse carries a heaviness to it after a particularly long shift. The team packs their bags, heads turned down, trying to shuffle home to find some sense of comfort. Security. B-crew starts to roll in with all the enthusiasm in the world and Eddie wishes he could borrow just an ounce of that energy. Enough to carry himself home, lift his eyes up just long enough to drive without drifting to sleep. 

Call after call, the team couldn’t catch a break. Electrical fire, two girls caught in a web of barbed wire, and a five car pileup. No chance to slip into the bunks, steal leftovers from the fridge, or take a momentary breath before the alarm rings. It’s a miracle they could still stand, let alone walk from the truck to the locker room after their last call. 

Eddie slips into the shower, wanting to immediately fall into bed when he gets home. The warmth nearly lulled him to sleep. The station never sounded so quiet. All he can hear is water dripping along the tiles, spiraling to the drains, and the slow, tapping movement of feet outside the showers. He stands still, watching the water run clear until it starts to burn cold. 

He steps out, sliding the curtain aside, dawning a fresh pair of sweats and an LAFD longsleeve. The navy blue sleeves, two sizes too large, bunch at the wrists, slipping past his fingertips. The soft fabric grounds him, he pulls the cotton tight in his hands. Freshly washed and warm. 

The locker room stands silent, no laughter to echo off the glass walls, no movement filling the space. Dirt and ash trails along the concrete, leaving random footprints and smudges anywhere they could reach. Smoke lingers in the air, rising high. Tomorrow the smell would vanish, leaving no memory of the day. But for now it burns, leaving a tattoo heavy on his chest. 

B-crew paces through the station, the hectic day coming to a halt as soon as they arrived. The alarm never rings. Eddie wishes it would. 

His bag sits on the bottom shelf. The crew is gone, having all gone home for the day. His bag should sit alone on that bottom shelf, waiting to be carried away. 

But Buck’s bag sits beside his, car keys still shining inside, phone left locked in one side pouch. 

He glances around the room, waiting for Buck to appear, as if the weight of the day could’ve somehow blinded him from the sight of his best friend. 

Outside the locker room he’s nowhere to be seen. B-crew works quietly, cleaning, restocking, gentle conversations. They mumble good mornings—it’s nearly four a.m.—and sip their warm coffees. He’s jealous at the ease they’re able to take, his own morning filled with wet hair and heavy eyes. 

The loft is empty, the silence echoes, almost painfully. He’s never seen the kitchen so clean, so mellow and silent. No steaming pans, no shuffling plates, no grabbing hands. The lights glow softly, waiting for the next chef to pry open the pantry, but for now, the cupboards remain shut, locked away tight, no sign of Buck to be found.

He looks up from the edge of the loft, over the railings. The garage doors are wide open, the soft pattering of rain can be heard, but only just. It dances across the pavement, spilling inside the firehouse, leaving only wet footprints in its wake. The night darkens the sky, grey clouds tracing overhead. It’s almost peaceful, a welcomed end to a hectic day. But then he remembers Buck, nowhere to be seen. Buck, who, of course, could never simply witness a peaceful moment like this. Buck, who, naturally, would want to be up close, feeling the cold rain in his hands, on his skin, anywhere he could find it. 

It seems obvious now; Eddie would never find Buck inside the station when there’s so much more to be said outside. A quiet, pouring night to end the bustling, restless day. Buck would follow the pour, follow the only sound to be heard. His eyes would brighten at the sight of it, despite the restlessness of the day. 

He follows the stairs, follows the trail of mud that seems so obvious in retrospect. Follows it all the way up to the roof, away from the firehouse, away from the day they desperately needed to leave behind. 

Eddie pulls his sleeves tighter, shivering at the sudden chill the fresh air gave. Raindrops stain his soft shirt and trail down his spine. 

From the roof, he could see it all. The moon, half full, glowing softly, brightly in the dark from behind the grey, swirling clouds. It wasn’t so heavy, up here, all the weight feeding into the drainage pipes. The water washes across the concrete, leaving the air fresh, clean, new. City lights flicker in the distance, proof of a bustling life, even so long after sunset. He could barely see the rain, barely watch it fall, but he could see Buck. 

Buck, who stood to the sky without a care. Buck, soaked in the rain, t-shirt pressed tight to his chest and boots logged with water. Buck, with his damp curls and bright smile, facing Eddie, inviting him forward. 

Eddie, arms crossed, shivering, hiding at the edge of the roof under the only cover he could manage to find. Eddie, watching Buck, but only from a distance. Eddie, with his flattened hair and heavy eyes, who couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Buck, what’re you doing up here? Shift ended…” he twists his arm, checking his watch, “half an hour ago.”

“It’s raining,” Buck says, as if Eddie couldn’t see the clouds above. 

He watches Buck, who looks back and forth between him and the sky, the twenty-ish feet between them feeling too far away.  _ Come home,  _ he wants to say.

“It’s late, you shouldn’t be up here,” he says instead.

“Neither should you.” Buck shifts back and forth slightly, splashing the rain by his feet. Eddie uncrosses his arms, letting his sleeves fall. 

He’s tempted by the rain, by Buck’s wonder. It would be far too easy to follow him to the edge of the roof, shoulders brushing as they watch the rain. The rain, so cold, but it wouldn’t matter because Buck would be there, warm and bright. So easily, he could drop his arm around his waist and pull him close, savouring a moment he would pretend to regret the next morning. 

He could never regret it, not really. Buck, with his never ended kindness, would never hurt Eddie, he needs to trust this. Needs to trust that he is not alone in his feelings. He needs to trust Buck to stop him before he ruins this, ruins this perfect moment on the roof. 

But it’s four a.m., and no good choices have ever been made so early in the day.

“You should go home. When’s the last time you slept?” Eddie asks, genuinely concerned.

“Even if I was at the apartment, I wouldn’t be sleeping,” he says, “I would be doing this. The only difference is I’d be doing it alone.”

The sentiment weighs on his chest; he’s not alone on this rooftop. It would be so easy to step into the rain and lay himself bare. To spill everything he has and let it wash away. 

Buck takes a few steps closer, closing the mileage between them. He’s still too far away. But Eddie can’t move, can’t take those small steps forward, away from the only dry patch of the roof, away from the safety of the wall behind him. 

“Come on,” he offers, “it’s just rain.”

But it’s not  _ just  _ rain, not to Eddie. There shouldn’t be anything different about this day other than the weather. Today, like every other day, he drove himself to the firehouse, worked side-by-side with Buck, and tried to keep himself from speaking his mind. 

This, here, on the roof, is something they’ve been building towards for a while. He’s certain—nearly certain—that Buck wants this too. He’s never shied away from the brush of a hand, or a hug that lasted a few seconds too long. He’s held onto Eddie, as if at any moment, he would disappear, and Eddie wants nothing more than to promise he’ll never leave. 

“What do you have to lose?” Buck asks, with a lightness around him. 

_ Everything.  _

If he steps too far, if he reads this wrong, he’ll lose Buck. He’ll lose everything. He’ll lose a partner, a best friend, the only pillar he’s ever allowed himself to lean on. Buck has been there since day one, latching onto Eddie, planting roots in his heart and refusing to leave. If he ruins this, he’ll lose everything.

Buck holds out his hands, begging Eddie to reach out, take the leap. But Buck is still twenty feet away, and it’s still four a.m. 

He sees those hands and the water curving around them. Wet hair dripping in those blue eyes, pressing against his forehead. Those blue eyes he can barely make out from so far away, but he knows them well enough to feel their brightness even from afar. 

And he can’t deny the fact that it is, _just_ _rain_ falling around them, as Buck said. But it’s late and he’s tired and it would be far too easy to fall into Buck’s embrace. If he held that hand extended towards him, he may never let go, and when Buck pulls away, as Eddie believes he will, it will ruin the rain forever. Every drop will remind him of this; a moment that could’ve been. 

“Buck…”

“I’ll wait here all night,” he says, arms open wide, “where’s the fun in standing all the way over there, anyways?”

It’s four a.m., it’s raining. Somewhere downstairs, the alarm rings, the trucks file out, one at a time, and for the first time they’re alone, truly alone. And Eddie’s too tired to hold back anymore.

He steps forward, into the rain, takes the leap. Buck is there, always has been, grinning as Eddie steps forward, arms unfolding. He was the one who followed Buck to the roof in the pouring rain. It’s inevitable that they’d end up here, standing together.

Buck takes his hand, strong and calloused, but gentle to the touch, and pulls him farther than he would’ve walked on his own. Up close, he can see the rain drops pressed to his arms, around every muscle. His shirt, entirely soaked through, clinging tight around his torso. He’s spent all night outside, in the rain, yet he never shivers under it’s touch. 

“See? Not so bad,” Buck laughs, and Eddie can’t stop his own grin from forming. He wants to pull away, go inside, go home. Hide away from his touch, pretend he feels nothing. But Buck is here. He has to stay here. Buck turns towards the horizon, but Eddie still watches Buck.

“I still don’t get why you’re up here.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re gonna catch a cold, or something.” He tries to ignore Buck’s grip, still tight against his hand, and tries to slip into something lighter. An easy conversation without any real meaning to avoid what will inevitably become of this night—morning, rather.

Buck turns back to Eddie, eyebrow tilted. The rain drips around his eyes, still bright, still blue. “That’s not actually a thing, is it? I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing.”

“Either way, you’re soaking wet, and probably freezing,” he offers, hiding his worry behind a bit of laughter. 

“I’m not freezing,” Buck holds Eddie’s free hand, pressing the back of it to his forehead, as if checking for a fever. He drops his wrist, but Eddie doesn’t move his hand. “See? Not freezing.”

Eddie turns his hand to push the wet hair away from Buck’s forehead, before sliding his hand down to rest on his cheek, his thumb wiping a raindrop away from his eye, tracing his cheekbone. 

Buck doesn’t pull away. Rather, he leans into the touch, still smiling, his hand slipping out of Eddie’s and tracing up his arm. He shivers at the touch, knowing there’s no way he can slip out of Buck’s grasp. Not when he finally knows what it’s like to be so close. 

“Yeah,” he says, not knowing how to fill the air, “not freezing. But you’re still soaked.” It’s barely a whisper, he’s close enough to speak softly and still be heard. 

“So are you.” 

“And whose fault is that?”

“You can’t blame me for the rain,” Buck says, pulling him closer, toe to toe, knees nearly knocking and hands holding steady. It would be entirely too easy to bridge the gap, to latch on a cut the tension hanging in the air. 

Eddie says nothing, he can barely breathe. He rests his free hand on Buck’s waist hesitantly, giving him every opportunity to pull away, to stop him before he goes too far. 

He can hear the rain, he can hear Buck’s breathing, soft and steady, and he can hear his own heart, skipping beats in his chest. It’s entirely too loud, and Buck could almost certainly feel it, the unsteady beating of his heart. 

“But you brought me up here,” Eddie whispers, “I can at  _ least  _ blame you for that.”

“I didn’t expect you to follow me,” Buck admits, “but I was kinda hoping you would.”

He tries to analyze it, pull apart Buck’s words to find meaning in it all, some type of confirmation that he’s not alone in his feelings, that Buck wants him too. This, to Eddie, is as close as he’ll ever get. There’s so much to be said, but he’ll never find the words to say it all. 

“You’re thinking too much,” Buck says, pulling him out of his head. “Whatever you’re trying to say, just say it.”

“I don’t think I can…” His hand, still resting on Buck’s cheek, slides down to his jaw. He looks between Buck’s eyes, his gaze landing on his mouth before leading back up to the thumb grazing his cheekbone. 

“It has to be you,” he says, resting his free hand on Eddie’s hip. “You have to take the leap.”

It’s all the assurance he needs that Buck wants this too. But even still, he struggles to close the final inches between them, something in his head still convincing him he’ll lose everything. 

He has to trust that Buck would never lead him astray. That if he takes this leap, Buck will be there to take the next. He’ll be there when he wakes up, leaving Eddie with proof that this is not a dream, and they’ll move forward together, taking every leap after that. He has to believe that Buck will always be there for him, just as he will be there for Buck. 

But first he needs to take this leap. Buck nods, only slightly, as if reassuring him that he wants this too. 

He moves slowly, still doubting himself, using Buck’s hand as an anchor to hold him steady. The rain only falls heavier, letting Eddie fall with it right into Buck’s arms. Buck is warm. He’s freezing, but his touch is still warm. He’s freezing but he doesn’t care. The rain, the sirens, the clouds, none of it matters because he’s so close to finally grasping what he’s always wanted. 

There’s hardly space between them, mere centimeters keeping them apart. There’s no room for doubt, no room to change his mind. 

So he falls, finally lets himself fall. He closes the gap between their lips, tilting his head up, and lets himself fall. And Buck is there, he always has been, to catch him, hold him up, pull him close. He kisses Buck slowly, softly, as if he’ll disappear. The rain showers over them, but he can barely feel it. All he feels is Buck, pulling him by the hem of his shirt impossibly closer and his hand tracing up his arms to rest on Eddie’s shoulder, gripping the fabric between his fingers. 

His hand slides to the back of his neck, savoring every touch. He’s kissing Buck and he’s barely breathing, but he can’t let it end, not yet. They’re soaked and they’re cold but none of it matters. He’s kissing Buck and nothing else matters. 

Buck pulls away first, not straying far, resting his forehead against Eddie’s. His breath, still heavy, brushes against Eddie’s cheek, mixing with the rain, leaving him cold. He can’t let this moment end, not yet. 

He closes his eyes to take it all in, but Buck is there again, drawing him in for another kiss. It’s more determined this time, less hesitant, less afraid. It’s strong and assured Eddie lets Buck guide him. He opens his mouth and lets Buck take him in, desperate to feel him closer still. He hears the rain and he hears the sirens, a vague reminder that they’re still at the firehouse, they’re still on the roof, collapsing in each other’s embrace. The stress of their shift is behind them, nearly forgotten, and all that matters is this, on the roofs, grabbing each other by the waist, hip, neck, wherever they can manage. It’s peaceful, and it surrounds them fully.

Their foreheads press together again as they break away, still soaking in the moment. Neither of them try to leave, staying on the roof even as the clouds darken above, taking each other in wholly. It’s way past four a.m. but still they stand, on the rooftop, and Eddie can’t help but lean in again, kissing Buck quickly, once more, just to remind himself that he can. 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @maysgrant


End file.
